An Exceptional Situation - Aise Bhi Hota - With Me

Just a few months back, I was part of a what's app group. Thankfully I am not a part of it currently. As I was discussing with my one of my colleague at my work place, on a certain topic, we both agreed that you can connect with only a few friends. Your connection with friends especially when you meet them after a few years, say after school, I realized, the intellectual level of most do not match. And then you realize that no matter how much you try to be in touch, try to connect with them, it just does not happen.

I would like to site certain experiences of mine to prove what I want to say. I will use real short forms of the people with whom these experiences were born. And I get afraid of no one. As these experiences were mine. With real people involved. Using different names or changing the real names, will, according to me, spoil my fun of writing, my freedom to think & express freely. And why the hell should I get afraid of quoting them? I am not defaming anyone. The experiences which I am going to pen down are good experiences, but the time & the date in which I am writing have changed. So if someone quotes me & says, why the hell are you writing this as it had once happened, I will conveniently say them to get lost.

While in school, I used to sit, during lunch break, with a girl - KC. Now KC, had joined us in 8th grade. I had my set of friends, the regular ones, but at that time, when KC came in 8th grade, most of the times she used to prefer my company. I used to like it. I used to look like one of her cousins & I used to feel nice talking to her. She had an elder sister who studied in the same school as ours. I still remember certain things - like she bringing mirchi ka acchar, her mom had made. Like she standing near me in class photos. Her mom & her grand mom were pregnant at the same time. Etc. Etc. Now after years when she meets me on the common whats app group she does not remember me. I say to her, I am Urwashi Parmar. I have gained weight, my looks have changed drastically, but you can still recognize me, through my name. And her answer is - I don't exactly remember. REALLY?? I made a joke one day which offended her. And at this time I realized another fact - never to interact seriously on what's app or rather any virtual medium. One can be seriously misunderstood.

And then I realized that like her most friends were attracted to certain specific people on the group. I tried to jell thinking that certain people in the group, taking into account the school times - would like to be with me, as I liked to be with them. But I was wrong. Small personal groups were clearly formed within the common what's app group. And this group then were always together. Including certain people time to time. And these time to time people were the friends I had never interacted during my life time. My own classmates, having become stars of that what's app group (only in group not otherwise), were now as it seemed to me, were attracted only towards other stars. Then I realized, that only I am the one left out. Some needed me only when they had some medical problem. One of the friends also expected me to run around the entire KEM with her father, so that she could get her brothers investigations done. He he he. 

I had a small argument with one of my classmates - CAN - on that group one day. The argument just blasted out of nothing. I tried explaining to her for a shorter while but personal attempts were left unattended. With a "SORRY DEAR" coming on the personal chat after a while. But this incident left me a bit confused. A friend who choose to question only me out of the entire group of 89 (the number when I was still the part of that group) & with 300+ messages from most, pointing her finger at me & expecting certain answers. And then a sorry comes on the personal chat with no statement on common group. I left the group & wrote my experience (read my post - 'Demonetization'). This post made everyone furious though the post contained nothing to be so furious about. Forget CAN, but others too like PHS, SN, KC - all took it as a personal offense. Documentation of an incident with CAN was like offending many. And many blocked me on FB. 

CAN send me a few messages on FB messenger & on what's app. And a particular message on what's app left me devastated. There were certain statements which questioned my womenhood, she called be CHEEKY (I don't know what it means). Certain statements in that message clearly indicated how she instigated most in the group to block me on FB. She claimed that I don't know all hardships of life (how she made an inference, I am yet to realize) - I am doctor in a government hospital & a cancer patient myself.  The statements in that message which I have so neatly preserved were clearly hurting. 

She choose to message me in such a way, not even once replying to my post on Demonetization on FB. She choose to attack me personally were no one knew what she actually send me. I tried replying her in a subtle way, but I realized that she has conveniently blocked me. I send her a few messages in next few months via SMS which actually contained nothing but were my attempt to connect. And one day, a few days back I remembered her & her hurting message she had send me once. I wrote to her to make her realize that messages can be offensive even if they do not contain bad words, citing her to be a fool, stupid (chindi). (Certain incidences or actions remain in our subconscious. They keep coming on the surface even on the remotest association. And sometimes a reaction occurs also subconsciously. Though in my case any reaction at whatever state or stage, thankfully has taken place subtly.). The reply that came all of a sudden left me guessing the type of person she actually is. She wrote certain bad words which a sane person would like to avoid. Angered by her message - I reverted in the same way, but each time she would come up with more bad missiles in form of words. Either messaging me or calling me up from different numbers. Again when I react - she feels bad & lodges a police complain.

Is it that only she feels bad? What is she? Who the hell is CAN? Does she actually have insight of her own thoughts & actions? Probably no. She has gone totally insane.

Thankfully the police who called me up, handled the situation maturely. He explained (probably even her) to leave the matter. I agreed. I had to explain to him who I am, my relation with CAN & how this all happened. What he understood in that small time - he would explain. I never denied that I had send her the messages, but gave my reasons. 

She has been sending the messages - its ok. She can clearly hurt me - ok. But if I revert - it's not ok. Why?? Why is CAN trying to play the victim??

Anyways I still have all the messages to prove my point legally & otherwise. So CAN can be aware to regain her insight.

I am also contemplating - did CAN play a prank, coz that policeman called from his personal number. Was it a prank to scare me?

Anyway, whatever the situation - CAN is a coward. She needs somebody around her to protect her. Friends, probably relatives & at some point the legal system. 

What she could have done is to talk to me in subtle manner at different time points. But this did not happen.

Also I have decided to interact with least no of people. Maintain only those people & relations who value me.

With this I end my post.

Comments

I wanted to make this post public on FB again but I fear someone insane will lodge a police complaint again. I will fall into trouble for no reason. Someone's lack of insight will be a problem for me.

This happens only in India.

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