Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage - The Debate is Still On

My post is actually a comment in response to a post on Dr. Amit Dang's blogspot - My Viewpoint. I felt I should post that comment on my blogspot too. I have posted an edited version as a comment to his post because of space constraints. But here on my post, the entire, unedited version has been posted. Hope the readers like it.

By the time I posted this comment, one comment was deleted by the author that is you Amit & ur post seems to show the time as - Posted 2 months ago. Nevertheless, I am still posting my comments because, I being ur fairer opposite sex, want neither the gal nor the guy to suffer.

I got married at the end of 29 years (my 29 years). Pretty late at least according to Indian marriage standards for a female. Now I want to post my experience rather than my comment against Amit's post.

I had been seeing these so called guys since a long time. As Amit has given the guys 5 questions they would like to ask the girls they go to see for matrimonial purposes I tell the girls - ask whatever you want & as many questions as you wish to. Guys ask really funny questions sometimes & I have rejected many on the basis of just questions.

E.g.

Guy (Ophthalmologist) - I read in your profile that you are a pharmacologist.

Me - Yes.

Guy (Ophthalmologist) - I would like to ask you a question.

Me - Ok, ask.

Guy (Ophthalmologist) - Is the combination of Ciprofloxacin + Tinidazole marketed by the companies a rational FDC?

Me - ..........

Before I could recover from the intensity of the situation (i.e. the question's relevance with respect to the situation), I received a shock. That ass had already got up assuming that I don't know the answer, started washing his hands, requested my mother if she could serve lunch early & after he finished his lunch, wished me & others in my family buy & left. Everything was sealed. He never called back. Instantly it was a no from my side. The ACE was hit when he never called back otherwise situations keep draging & draging & draging.

My experiences are vast, too too vast to fit in the space & too lengthy to be posted as a comment in response to a post.

Yes, I do agree, parents really give the entire situation a confused & constipated appearance.

In one of the situation, my parents wanted me to get married to a guy on certain really funny criteria's. My parents took a lot of liberties & assumed a lot of things on my behalf. At one point I started visualizing a rather boring life post marriage, as compared to a peaceful married life.

I agree, parents twist & twist & twist till the guy or the girl just gives way.

The comments posted by Amit which are:

1. Did you really want to meet me or your parents forced you to?

2. Are you here to make friends or meet your prospective future partner?

3. Do you believe in the concept of arrange marriage?

4. Are you anyway ready for marriage?...its like are you mentally prepared?

5. Do you see yourself settling down soon? - should even be asked by girls to the guys because the situations are not gender specific.

Divorces are on rise. But the era or the time factor has never been & never was responsible for them.

Guys or girls - Arranged marriage or love marriage - nothing is ideal. In love marriages, the 2 people claim to know each other very well, but I have seen a divorce of a very close person in my relation. In arranged marriages also one can't claim that because of the parents & familial presence, everything is fool proof. I have seen divorces happen even in arranged marriages.

No situation is ideal. Guys or gals who go too the opposite person for matrimony, just try to visualize ur future with him or her taking all factors into consideration in that stipulated time.

Love marriage or arranged marriage - if the marriage has to work it will work. Love happens. And to see how it happens, you have to experience it. If you haven't experienced for some reasons, no amount of lecturing will help you.

Currently I am 33.5 years with 1.7 years old son. I don't know which generation I belong to. But in an arranged marriage, I love my husband too much. I cannot define the love that I feel for him. Love has happened. It just happened.

I & my husband have to take care that we don't repeat the same mistakes which our parents had committed, for our son.

By the way when my husband had come too see me, he did not ask me a single question. We just talked. Many have cracked jokes when I tell them of this situation. But we both know the true love we feel for each other.